Monday, May 14, 2007

What Not to Wear on a Magazine Cover: Beyonce

I was perusing CVS when this magazine cover shocked me out of my routine browse. Even Maxim's cover seemed tasteful in comparison to this Vibe. (A Nicole Scherzinger doppleganger, you should check it out)
Beyonce is undeniably a stunner but when she takes her mother's House of Dereon taste to heart, drama ensues.
Shes wearing the Chanel sequin panty-shorts that Sienna Miller debuted at her Factory Girl party. It didn't look good on a twig so I am confused why Beyonce would think teeny shorts would flatter her curvy figure.


The shorts awkwardly bunch which tends to happen when you wear sequined panties. (Don't ask me how I know.)
She's trying to work the whole "sexy when wet" look but it looks like she's rockin a jeri-curl 'do and consumptive eye makeup. Her shirt also looks uncomfortably tight, strapping in her breasts.
As a stylish male friend of mine, EM, said, "She looks like she got beat up." And when you're on the cover of Vibe, why would you rock a look that thugs put together instead of a fabulous designer.


It's not like Beyonce doesn't know how to work the sexy when wet act, she did it for Sports Illustrated. I think its all in the eyes. She bores into the reader with her steady sultry gaze. Her hair also looks naturally wet, as if she just rolled in the sand after a romp in the water. Unprocessed and natural suits Beyonce better.

++
SB

5 comments:

lora said...

mi fashionista,
fascinating and well-articulated blog, as usual. a few points of contention, though. in defense of beyonce, i suspect the stylists at Vibe had a lot to do with those hideous chanel panties and the boobie straight-jacket. She tends to have impeccable taste elsewise, as we note from the tasteful jewels, gems, glitter and sparkle that define her usual style, much to my personal satisfaction. secondly, the femme fatale was wet only as a result of risking her life, saving victims from the torrid floodwaters in st. louis, and should not be faulted for her heroism.
-LA

Cassie said...

hahaha i loved this, very interesting choice of topic SB i really hope if it means more beyonce and shakira that CIWWAF becomes a commentary on men's magazine covers

Leah said...

I love your BLOG! I think I have to add it to my current perez hilton--people--tmz rotaton. :)

I wish we could have another 4 on 4 roomie party--the Grey's/Office night was so fun!

Anonymous said...

I think you're definately right, she should wear less clothes. In fact I think we should all share in this lesson and stop wearing so many clothes. I mean, I don't want to look "beat up". In fact as I type I am taking off my pants! HA! TAKE THAT SABA! Less IS more!! :D

SB said...

mo. you completely missed the point. but i understand, it was very subtle and i've heard you are...how do i put it...quite slow.
and who is this Saba you speak of?

ps. put your pants back on. nobody wants to see that. thanks so much.


(haha)